Biology Exams

Dream: Oh god, it’s one of those dreams again isn’t it? The whole, “it’s an exam and you haven’t studied?” Haven’t had one of those in a while. Maybe it was influenced by the episode of that TV show I watched just before going to bed.

The room was already full, but it didn’t seem like any exam I’d been in before. Some of the students were still milling about and there was a low level of conversation going on.

“You’re late,” said the tutor.

Yeah, I bet I was. I’m always late at these sorts of things.

I wandered around a little and found a seat. Great. First day and already an exam. And what was it on? Biology? I’d never studied Biology before. Sat next to me was H, but I know it couldn’t really be H, as she’d died a while ago. Really good friend, and I miss her a lot. I wonder why I’m dreaming about her all of a sudden?

“I really don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing here,” I said to her.

“Go get the paper from the cubby hole near the door. You’ll find everything you need in there.”

I stood up and milled back to the pigeon holes at the entrance and sure enough, there was a little brown envelope with my name on it. Although it had S’s address. Does that mean I’m still getting mail sent to her address? This doesn’t make any sense.

M was following me around, checking his phone, looking on the internet for something. I don’t know what. Why would they allow phones in an exam?

I sat back down next to H. She had the same kind face as I always remember. It’s always the good that die young, isn’t it? Opening the envelope, I found a load of papers, forms and crap that you expect from starting college, and a text book that could never have fit within, along with the exam paper I was supposed to be sitting.

I placed the book on the desk and unfolded the paper. The first question confused me. It seemed the exam was tailored specifically for this book.

“Question One: Would you say that the textbook is a work of truth, or fiction? Or would you say that the textbook uses fiction, to explain the truth?”

What kind of a screwy question is that?

I looked to the front of the book. Biology “MASS” it said on the front, as if that meant anything to me. It probably stood for some examining board that I’d not heard of. Beneath the text was a picture of a rebel soldier. Not a normal rebel soldier. A rebel from Endor. In the green camouflage, with the strange helmets that didn’t have a top. Next to the rebel was a big woolly mammoth like Bantha creature. My first thoughts were - if they’re using Star Wars to teach Biology now, I’m screwed. Especially as Banthas weren’t on Endor, they were on Tatooine, so the people who’ve written the book don’t know anything they’re talking about.

I must have muttered some of this out loud, and I was shushed to silence by the tutor at the front of the class.

Then, I woke up.